Dear Dana is an advice column especially for teens in the Monadnock Region.  The column gives teens a person to ask the questions they cannot ask others.  Dear Dana provides down-to-earth advice in order to help teens in the Monadnock Region.

Q:  I am 13 years old and everyone at school seems to have every new thing that comes out like clothes, IPods, backpacks, or cool hair. My family doesn’t have a lot of extra money to spend on things, and sometimes I feel like I’m not as cool as other kids are because I don’t have the “cool” stuff. What do I do?

A:  First, let me say that I know it is hard to not fit in by not having the things everyone has. However, having the “cool” stuff is not what is important in life. It’s what’s inside that counts. If you are a friendly person, people will like you no matter what. Now, having said all of that, if you actually like the stuff that other kids have and you cannot afford them, you could always try to get a small job, like a newspaper route or babysitting. That way you will have a bit of money to spend on clothing and music. Just remember that what you wear does not make the person you are.
 

Q:  I am 14 years old and I really like my boyfriend a lot. He says I act like I don’t like him and that I don’t show it enough. I want to show him more affection but I don’t know how.

A:  I always say, BE YOURSELF. If you are only comfortable giving as much attention as you are now, then that should be ok. Your boyfriend should understand that giving more attention might just not be your thing. If he does not understand that, then maybe he isn’t right for you. However, if you do want to show more and are comfortable doing it, I would use the classic ways like making him a card, writing him a letter, making him food, or going somewhere special with him (dance, movies, etc). In no time, he should see that you do like him, and you might become more comfortable with showing how you feel.
 

Q:  I am 11 years old and I get really embarrassed talking to my Mom about thing like growing up. I really want to tell her that I want to shave my legs, but every time I try to, I feel really stupid and chicken out. Everyone is shaving their legs now, and I want to! Help me!

A:  Try not to feel embarrassed to talk to your Mom about shaving your legs because that’s what Mom’s are for! All women go through the situation of deciding when to start shaving their legs. Your Mom might be helpful in this situation because she has been through it. She might even be willing to give you some pointers! If you still are not comfortable talking with your Mom, you can always talk with an adult you trust at school, or maybe a relative. This is all part of growing up, and it is something to be excited about!
 

Q:  I am 15 and my good friend started talking about losing weight. She never liked the way she looked and then she started going to the gym everyday after school instead of hanging out with me. Everyone is saying she looks like a model now, but I think she is not eating much and I’m starting to worry about what could happen to her.

A:  I bet it is hard having a friend that you are this concerned about; especially if she is also not spending time with you. I would encourage you to speak with an adult that you trust about your friend. This adult could be a parent, relative, another friend’s parent, guidance counselor, etc. It sounds like your friend might not have a good self image. It might do some good to talk with her about your concerns. If she still does not seem to be getting better, I would speak with her parents about it. This can be a very dangerous thing, and she may need medical attention. Being this concerned about her makes you a great friend. Ultimately, this is your friend’s decision and choice, and she and her family need to help her make it.