Dear Dana is an advice column especially for teens in the Monadnock Region.  The column gives teens a person to ask the questions they cannot ask others.  Dear Dana provides down-to-earth advice in order to help teens in the Monadnock Region.

Q:  I am 13 and I found my perfect boyfriend. Well, I think so anyway. I know I love him and I told him. He just responded, “Same to you.” I don’t know how to take this. I need advice.

A:  I know how tough it can be to put your feelings out there and to feel like the other person doesn’t feel the same. There are many people in this world that cannot express the way they feel in words. Your boyfriend just might be one of those people. You should be able to tell whether he does truly “love” you by the things he does for you or the way he looks at you and treats you. If things don’t work out the way you had hoped in this relationship, I am sure someone else will come along that might make you happy and be able to talk about the way they feel. Hang in there!
 

Q:  I am 16. I just broke up with my boyfriend. I talk to my best friend (a boy) when I am sad. My friends say I broke up with my boyfriend to go out with my best friend. THAT ISN’T TRUE! What should I do?

A:  I can understand that you feel awful having people saying things about you that are not true. Some people will continue to tell rumors about many things in life. You need to be able to let their words slide off your back like a duck. Try not to take anything they say to heart. As long as you are happy with what you are doing, then what others say and think does not matter. Good luck!
 

Q:  I am 14 years old and I really like my boyfriend a lot. He says I act like I don’t like him and that I don’t show it enough. I want to show him more affection but I don’t know how.

A:  I always say, BE YOURSELF. If you are only comfortable giving as much attention as you are now, then that should be ok. Your boyfriend should understand that giving more attention might just not be your thing. If he does not understand that, then maybe he isn’t right for you. However, if you do want to show more and are comfortable doing it, I would use the classic ways like making him a card, writing him a letter, making him food, or going somewhere special with him (dance, movies, etc). In no time, he should see that you do like him, and you might become more comfortable with showing how you feel.
 

Q:  I am 14 years old and never have had a boyfriend. I want a teenage romance. I feel like guys don’t like me. HELP! How do I get a guy to want me back? It seems like it should be easy, but maybe I am doing it all wrong?

A:  First of all, it is totally normal at the age of 14 to not have had a real boyfriend yet. This is the age when all of this starts to happen. Second, if you are trying to find a boyfriend, then maybe it is your choice of guys that is the problem.

Having a boyfriend is just like having a friend. You have to be yourself and if it is right, they will like you for who you are. Sometimes the best relationships start off by being friends. Get involved in activities where both boys and girls are involved. Just start spending time with a guy friend and maybe something more will happen. Hang in there, your time will come!
 

Q:  I am 14 years old, and I feel like my Mom doesn’t trust me and that she doesn’t want me to grow up. I feel like I can’t do anything. What should I do?

A:  I think this is a normal fear to have as a 14 year old. This is the time of your life when you have to build trust between your Mother and yourself. Moms both want and hate to see their child grow up. I am 28 and mine still doesn’t! This too is normal.

I would talk with your Mom and let her know you feel this way. Communication can improve your relationship with your Mother. In order to build trust, you have to start somewhere. First, ask yourself if you have shown responsibility by helping do things at home, and following through on any commitments you have made. If not, make an effort to show you are responsible. Next, try asking to go to the movies, or to the mall. Let her know who you are going with and when you will be back. Start with small things. At the age of 14, there are many things your Mother might not want you to do yet. Whenever she says it is unsafe or she doesn’t want you to do it, there is usually a good reason. Make sure to find out that reason. EVENTUALLY, you will build trust with her and be able to do some of the things you want to, but yet under her rules.

Hang in there!
 

Q:  I am 13 and I think I suffer from depression. What should I do?

A:  The first thing I would say is hang in there; this is a common problem with youth your age. I would suggest that you see a Therapist or your Doctor and let them know how you are feeling. I know it can be hard to open up to people you do not know and trust, but sometimes you have to put your guard down in order to get help. There will be Therapists and Doctors that you don’t like, and it might take awhile to find one that you can bond with. I would also lean on your parents and family if you feel you can; they can be some of the greatest supporters in your life. The most important thing is to pay attention to your feelings and find out why you are feeling this way. Hang in there.
 

Q:  I am 9 years old, and I like this boy at school.  I am too scared to talk to him but I want to see if he likes me.  How do I go about doing that?

A:  I know that sometimes it is hard to speak up and express your feelings to other people.  As you get older, that courage will grow and you will be able to do it a little more.  For now, the best way is to see if he might want to talk with you or sit next to you at a school game or assembly, or maybe to play a game on the playground at recess.  If he says he will, then it is likely that he likes you.  If he says no, then maybe he just isn’t ready yet.  Remember that boys mature later than girls, so you may be ready to like him, but he might not be ready to like you!